Trial and Error

Black Bear

He was just eating on the side of the road minding his own business. Amazing to see.

 

So, Draye’s Aunt and Uncle came to our end of the country to visit their daughter and we thought “Hey!  We should try to meet up with them”  So, on a kind of plan, kind of whim we went for a drive and expected to be gone for a few nights.  We spent 2 nights in the car on Mother’s Day weekend.  It was lovely.  I found where the major kinks would be and figured out what I’d like and how to fix it or make it or get it.  So, success!!  We also had a ton-O-fun!

We went to two hot springs pools in to days and had a nice drive.  We visited only one of the National Parks and I found as we were on our way home that we wanted more.  So much more.

I got home and all of a sudden I felt this net surrounding me and felt like it was closing in on me and it’s been doing that for a while but, I never noticed until now.  It’s getting faster and closer and I just “know” if I wait too long to follow what my heart wants me to do that it will close and I will have missed an incredible opportunity.

So, end of June is the goal.  Actually, it’s a little sooner so, I’ve got lots of work to do.  At the very least I need to be moved out of my apartment in about a month.  After that….I will be…I don’t know….scary!!  Also exciting though!!

 

Playing in the wading pool

Most hot springs have been “built” to be a tourist and access friendly facility. They all have a natural spring that heats them. Most of those springs are hard to get to. Not this one! He fell in and we went with it. Good thing the card was close. The snow was taking turns with the sunshine.

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So, we were watching a movie last night.  The Secret Life of Pets.  There was a scene where they panned over the city. New York.   Drayce says “wow!  I wanna live there!!”  I said “I’d like to VISIT there.   I don’t think I really want to live there.”  Then he says excitedly “I have an idea!! We could live into our car and go camping there!”
I love how he’s taking off with this.  I’ve been careful not to prod him in a direction or lead him in anyway…..at least I’ve tried.   Its all him.

Hmmm….the Real Why’s and am I ok with them?

I am stressed out.  I feel like I’ve had the busiest and most physically active and mentally taxing day in tje history of days.  I haven’t though. So, what’s bugging me?

If I knew I’d tell ya!  Well, partly because I need to find my magnesium supplements.  That always helps with my mood.  Other things are on this list.

In no particular order…just as  I’m thinking about them today.

#1)  I hate cleaning.  I really do.  I can always find something better to do.  Even if it’s just watching something on tv.  It isn’t a lazy thing.  It’s a “look at the size of this list! I’d rather…. that particular job isn’t critical yet….right?”  Ugh.  Living in a Tiny House or in a vehicle would cut WAY down on the need to do stuff I don’t enjoy.  It would also make all cleaning jobs critical so, I’d have to do them all right away.  That way I would never get overwhelmed when they started to add up (that’s when the I’d rather watch tv comes in).

#2)  I am not a big fan of neighbours.  I had no idea.  I have a feeling it’s because I’ve all the jobs I’ve had coupled with my terrible social skills and the fact that my jobs and interests kept me from a normal social life so, most of it has been online.  I am just no good at much more than basic small talk in person.  I also thought this new place being full of kids would be a good thing but….these kids….are not ones I’d pick to be influencing and playing with my little guy.  He’s the only one his age and all the other kids that play in the communal yard are older and no one is supervising the so….grrrr….  Yes, Drayce has more kids to play with than ever before but, are they really good kids for him to be playing with?  Not really.  I’m pretty easy going get dirty, be messy but, be kind and generous and include everyone.  I have no place for bullies or meanness of any kind.

OH MY!!  Drayce has just yelled from the yard “Mommy!  We’re having a mud fight!!  Isn’t this gross?!?”

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It’s fine though.  They’re having fun.

Then there’s this…..

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He’s upset now because he’s is the dirtiest of the two of them.  He truly doesn’t mind.  He loves water fights.  He’d have them in the middle of winter if I’d let him.  The most laid back and easy going kid you could ever meet.  Everyone falls in love with him.  However, the older kid he’s playing with recently waited for someone to start backing out of my driveway so he could “accidentally” ride behind him and “almost” get hit then fingered the driver.  I know it was planned that way because I saw the whole thing.  So, he got carried away (benefit of doubt) and now my wee lad had an eye full of mud but, won’t come in to get it taken care of because he wants to keep playing.  How do kids grow up to be mean?  The fact that he apologized immediately says to me that he’s been taught to apologize for hurting people (good) but, not that his actions have consequences because he only said anything when Zack came in the house to see me….and kept apologizing while he went back to playing.  I don’t need that influence around my boy.

#3)  Money.  I have enough “income” to either live here frugally or to travel…also frugally.  I would get to be frugal in Victoria, Winnipeg, Montreal, Halifax, Toronto, Washington, Kissimmee, Anaheim, Anchorage, Lima….I think you get the idea?  It’s like when I went on holiday to Florida years ago in the winter and as I was leaving  I said “I hope it snows the whole time I’m gone!”  Someone’s reply was “well, it’s rainy season down there right now so, you may not get much sun”  to which I said “Yes, but, I’ll be in FLORIDA while it’s raining.  I’m ok with that!”  Anyhow, this brings up the idea that I could travel to Renaissance Faires (and such things like that) where the type of jewelry that I make would be more popular and I’d get to start making more of that again.  Something I really enjoy but, can’t justify the time and expense if I can’t see someone else wearing it.  You see, I make jewelry but, I don’t often wear it because I have a sensitivity to most metals.

#4)  I love to travel and and experience new cultures and learn about the history of places and other than the “paid vacations” to visit Zack’s Daddy this is the only way I will be able to do it.

#5)  I will be better able to save up to buy something bigger for us.  While my vehicle IS going to be just fine, like I mentioned in the last post it is getting older and Zack is growing so we will need more room and he’ll eventually want to have his own space.

#6)  Family is important and I want Zack to know ALL of his.  His Dad’s family is HUGE but, they live on the opposite end of the country from me.  We could travel there and spend some time with them and some time traveling that area.  I also have a huge extended family that I haven’t seen so many years and I’d like Zack to know them too.  This way he would.

So, in summary:

1:  I am creatively solving the issue of not having a live in housekeeper.

2:  The best way to not have a negative influence is to avoid letting continue contact.

3:  The type of skills I want to nurture will provide a better income if I’m mobile.

4:  I get to travel and learn!

5:  Better allotment of my limited finances.

6:  Get to know family.

Ok, feeling MUCH better now!! Thanks.

Car trouble…and I’m not even out of the gate!

So, my car is a 2008.  It’s big enough.  It can haul a trailer.  She’s kinda old though.  So, a few days ago I had it in to take off the winter tires (I live in the mountains, it might be a little late but, with the winter and spring we just had…it’s not THAT late).  They did a look around under the hood just to check things out too…as they do and found a noise.  Not a new noise to me.  Not a noise that I’ve never mentioned to anyone.  A noise I quite bothering to mention to people because they kept telling me it was nothing.  Turns out….it was something.  BIG!  Happily it is still under warranty (until August!  Jeez!!) and it won’t cost me anything to fix it.  The issue is that the last time they did one of these warranties on my type of vehicle it took WEEKS ….. like, months to get the parts in.  UGH!!  We made an appointment to get it fixed next week so the parts ordering guy (I know, he’s probably got a proper job title but….I don’t know what it is.  Anyway,……he) knows he needs the part (parts?) and he hasn’t gotten back to us to say it’s backordered so….maybe I’ve been sent another gift by The Universe.  It’s been pretty darn good to me lately!!  That will work perfectly too because I’d like to make a trial run of all this and just see how we both react to it and Drayce’s Uncle and Aunt are visiting from the East Coast next week so, I’d like to go for a drive and meet up with them too.

One of my biggest concerns is that I’ve never heard or seen anything about a single Mom and a little guy travelling alone.  I see single women.  I see couples with kids.  I see single women who’s kids are grown and gone.  I’ve never seen anything like what I’ve got.  That makes me kind of concerned.  Why?  Am I missing something?  I really don’t think so.  Yes, I realize that it is unorthodox but, not entirely unheard of is it?  Even if it is….someone has to be the first one right?   Not only do I not mind being the first….I’m really pretty excited about it.  I’m sitting here, watching one of my inspirations on YouTube.  Carolyn’s RV Life.  She’s talking about travelling with an older dog and after quite a few of her talking points all I can think is ….that’s something to keep in mind travelling with a little guy.

It isn’t as though we haven’t travelled together before.  We have been going alone on long distance trips since he was three months old.  This boy has a father that looks forward to seeing him and WANTS to spend as much time with him as possible.  I will go out of my way to ensure that happens because I went through the opposite with my oldest and see how it broke his heart every time the plans didn’t work out.

Well, that was an unexpected tangent!

The point I was heading to is that I know how to keep him happy in the car and I know how to keep me happy in the car and I highly doubt that we will be putting in the miles while travelling as a Nomad that we put in trying to get from Point A to Point B.  Another tool in my arsenal (maybe not a tool….?) is that when I was a kid we travelled across the country as a family quite a bit camping so, I know from experience what works and what doesn’t as well.

So, I guess I’ve just talked myself through that fear.  Yay!!  Onward and upward!!

About Drayce

I figure that since I wrote an essay about me I should probably spend at least a little time introducing you to Drayce. It only seems fair doesn’t it?

He was born just before one of the recent Apocalypses.  The one on 12/21/12. He would have been around two months old.  Thankfully, whatever end the world was supposed to come did so and most people didn’t notice.  That would have been a rough start for a little guy.

Home time.

This was getting ready to head home from the hospital. I was in that same bunting bag on my trip home. He didn’t fit here for very long.

He was born angry that he couldn’t just start doing what he came here to do.  The problem was that he wasn’t immediately able to walk or talk.  He went about learning ASAP but he sure was frustrated about it taking so long! He took his first actual steps alone when we were visiting his Aunt on the east coast.  It only happened he was jealous that she was holding a baby that wasn’t him. He got up and walked over, climbed into her lap and gave her a hug like it was no big deal. He was about ten months old.

Zack's 3/4 birthday

Yep, he’s driving the golf cart. Not actually steering (although it was a fight to talk him out of that!).  He WAS however turning it on when I told him we needed to go and off when we stopped. Yes, he should have been sitting in a seat. No, he wouldn’t stay that way.  He still won’t. Its as though he believes sitting is evil.

I don’t remember exactly when he first spoke but his first word was “quack” and the rest didn’t take long to follow. He started talking at about the same time he started walking. Like I said, he’s been in a hurry and on a mission from the time he was born!

I first put Drayce in his jolly jumper when he was five weeks old.  Yes, I did.  As his mother, I felt he was ready.  When I held him in a standing position he bounced relentlessly so, the jolly jumper wasn’t much different except that I didn’t have to sit for hours holding him while he bounced.  He HATED being put down on his back or his tummy.  He needed to be up where he could see what was going on.  He loved the jolly jumper and “his cat” always hung around teasing him just out of reach.  He loved it until he was 5 months old, then he hated the thing and I couldn’t get him to go in it for anything.  He still wanted to jump but he wanted the bouncy part under his feet…the bed, the couch the adults….  I think he just finally figured out that he wasn’t moving anywhere and felt like I’d been tricking him.

Jolly jumpin'

He looks angry because this is about the 100th time that Mr. Rumples has walked by just out of reach.

Drayce has always been naturally talented at everything.  So much so that when he (very seldom) runs up against something that he isn’t just able do he gets frustrated and walks away.  This is what our major struggle is.  He takes the “make him think it’s his idea” challenge to a whole new level…and he’s only 4-1/2!!  Isn’t that supposed to wait until the teen years?  Ugh!

On the quad collecting firewood

Yes, he’d drive it if he was allowed. Notice I didn’t say if he knew how. This was about 3 months before his 3rd birthday. We spent a month or so visiting his Daddy. It’s kind of what we do in the summer.

I call him My Little Healer. He’s hardly ever been sick and his most serious “illnesses” have been due to allergies/intolerances. He also heals faster than anyone I know (and I swear my Dad is just a few steps away from being able to regrow appendages!  …in a matter of days). He is also able to help other’s heal. When he was just a little more than a year old I got a nasty cut from a pair of scissors. Everyday he insisted on kissing my owchie better (he remembered this himself) and I have never healed faster or better. Normally, that type of wound would take at least a month for me to heal but, in less than a week I had a hard time seeing where the cut had been.  He’s got a big heart too.  He can’t see any person or animal who is hurt suffer in any way.  He’s just gotta help.

This boy is going to do amazing things!!  I don’t pretend to know what his “mission” is but, I know he’s got one and I’ll do what I can to help him get fulfil it.

That is why I refuse to send him to school. I totally trust that he will be able to follow his best path.  In order to do that I will teach him the things he asks about….with some creative input and gentle leading and “unexpected” introduction to new things I will do a much better job than an overworked teacher who expects him to sit quietly at a desk all day and listen.  ….sitting is evil remember?

On a recent hike with his Grampa

An amazing view on a beautiful Spring Day.

About Me…the Beginning (and a few years before that)

I am a single mom. I have been for 25 years….pretty much….single that is, I’ve been a Mom that long. I’ve always wanted to travel. When my oldest, Trip (not his name, he picked that!) was old enough that I could leave him on his own we started Travelling. It was great but…he was a teenager…I don’t think I need to tell you the challenges of traveling the world with a teenage boy. Then, just as I was getting to enjoy it all along came my youngest who put a stop to all THAT particular fun.

….or so I thought.

I’ve spent the last five years fantasizing about when I would be able to get on the road again.  Basically since around when the Tiny House Revolution started to get really big.  My biggest regret was that I hadn’t heard of it a year earlier when I could have bought one.  Anyhow, here I am with a 4-1/2 year old and I’ve had an epiphany.  I’m going to just do it.  I have spent the last 5 years downsizing my hypothetic home to a point where I’ve got everything that I need.

It wasn’t that quick or easy though.

In 2008 I got a “dream” job (read that as the same job I’d been doing for years but, for crazy money and spectacular benefits) and went off to new frontiers to waste away at that.  It was alright.  I worked ten hours a day for 21 days in a row then had seven days off.  I worked and stayed in the same building.  Which means my world was pretty small when I was at work.  The money was worth it though and on my days off I could go ANYWHERE.  So I did.  In four years I went to Paris, London, cruised the Caribbean, Florida-twice (with a visit to Disney and Universal), LA (just to see a concert!), Sedona…and so many other little trips.  It was wonderful.

However, all the trips didn’t do much for my savings so we (Drayce and I) had to go and live with my parents and my sister and my older son.  Sure I could have gotten a job, found a babysitter and moved out on my own like I had with my oldest 20 years earlier but, I found out that I just didn’t have it in me to work for anyone anymore.   My BS filter didn’t (doesn’t) just need to be cleaned it’s broken and I have no desire to fix it.

In order to find something I did all sorts of courses and came up with all kinds of home businesses so I could stay home with the baby  which is what I REALLY wanted to do but, nothing seemed to work.  Then one day my oldest, Trip got a job in my old industry.  When they needed some extra help that could walk in and just start with little to no training but only wanted a few hours he suggested me.  So, I got a job.  The extra money was nice but, I was miserable.  I still enjoyed helping people but, not so much working for people.  So, that was no good either but, I stuck it out for as long as I needed to.

I still had the issue of a babysitter and a place to live that was just for the two of us (Drayce and I).  We REALLY needed our own space.  One day I was across the room from a few co-workers who were talking about an apartment that was available that was in my price range.  I jumped on the opportunity and in the early Spring of 2017 I moved into the place where I’m living now.  It was great and exciting and new and fun and….still not what I wanted.

I kept telling myself that I could stay here until I found something that I could “get on the move” with.  I just needed a job that I could do remotely that was good enough to support us.  In the meantime I could have a garden (something I really want but, I kill plants.  I wish it was different but, it isn’t).  I could watch what I wanted on tv.  I could go and do and see what I wanted when I wanted without having to answer to, explain myself or justify anything to anyone.  This newfound freedom was intoxicating and wonderful but, I just kept buying more and more stuff to fill up this giant space.  Soon I started to panic because now I had too much “stuff” that I didn’t want.  So why did I keep buying more?  That made me wonder what was wrong but, I couldn’t come up with any good answer.  Finally I realized that I was filling my home up with “stuff” in an attempt to fill up a void that is within me.  Next problem, how do I fill the void?

Right around this time people around me (blogs, newsletters, conversations, facebook) kept talking about how you needed to think back to when you were a child and what you wanted to be when you grew up.  Well, the only thing I could think of from when I was little girl was that I wanted to be an Olympic Athlete (and to be honest I’m pretty sure I just said that because I was a figure skater and that’s what people expected (I’ve always been a people pleaser!) the one other thing was that I wanted to be a Princess.  Well, that seems as likely as winning the Lottery or finding an exceedingly rich Sugar Daddy.

Then,  one day I was helping my oldest with some chores (aka being his chauffeur) and we pulled into a gas station and there was a girl in a jeep that was packed like she lived in it and I just ….sighed.  Loudly.  It was totally involuntary and I didn’t even know I’d been holding my breath.  I had been though.  For about five years.  Trip looked at me concerned (my 25 year old son actually paid attention to me!! lol) and asked what was wrong.  All I could think or say was “all I need is a Jeep, a tent, a camp stove and a water jug.  Then I’d be so happy.”  He pointed to Ravvy (my beloved vehicle, I don’t really want a Jeep it’s just what The Girl was driving) told me that there were no less than 4 tents that never got used in storage at my parents along with a camp stove and no doubt a water jug.  I was stunned.  My world had just been upended and I was thrown into a tailspin.  I’d heard of people living in their cars but those people were to be pitied, right?  Wait though.  Suddenly it sounded like freedom and the answer to EVERYTHING  (kinda like 42, lol) because it’s what I’ve been wanting to do just on a much smaller scale.  Was this something that I could do ….soon?

I’ve been watching tiny houses on video, on tv, blogs, vlogs…..designing my own, gathering ideas and intel for years.  DREAMING.  Since I first heard of them.  I mean, ever since I told my Gram when I was young that I wanted this giant house and she told me “you know you have to look after those big houses”.  I told her I intended to have servants for that.  She told me that I had better get a small house until the time came that I could afford a Housekeeper at the very least.  That has always stuck with me and everytime I see a cute little house it makes me think of her and that conversation.

My plan at the beginning (five years ago when Drayce popped into my world) was to somehow get a little house on a big piece of land.  Then I found out that there were little houses on wheels that weren’t big fancy RV’s.  Now I was torn.  Little house with lots of land and a farm/ranch or a T.H.O.W. (Tiny House On Wheels) and travel wherever I wanted?  Heck, why not both?!?  Then I saw boats….and WOW!!  That opened up so many more things.  First, I’d get on the road…or maybe I’d stay put and just wait until I could get a “boat” first?  ….why not go for everything?!?  A boat that will hold my T.H.O.W. and a piece of property that generated enough income to support itself, me and its caretaker!! That way whenever I got to where ever I was heading I could then go for a drive and see the country and not worry about finances.  The biggest problem now was that my dreams were beginning to rely on my winning the lottery or landing a super rich Sugar Daddy and my social life didn’t really look like it was going to lead to the latter.

So…what?  Get a job. It would have to be a good one and I wanted it to be something I could do at home and/travel while doing.  I’d tried everything though and the usual at home jobs weren’t for me.  ….clothing, candles, jewellry.  I tried selling the jewellry that I make at the local street markets but, there just isn’t the right customer base here for that to have worked.  I am an energy healer but, I had/have no office to hold appointments so, it would have to be online…nothing I tried ever caught on.  I also read Tarot and Oracle cards and can channel Spirit.  I really enjoy these things.  I know quite a bit about crystals and herbs too.  I’ve paid for and taken courses in all of these healing modalities and truly enjoy the pursuit of knowledge.  I also genuinely enjoy helping people.  I just couldn’t find a way (that worked) to get them to know I was there and ready and willing.

Other things then.  I always wanted to be an architect.  Interior design always fascinated me too.  I could take an online course in drafting and another in interior design then talk to companies that made and sold tiny houses and offer them my services!  Great idea.  Couldn’t ever get into it.  Next.  Onto what jobs are good pay and something I can do at home and preferably online?  Bookkeepers and travel agents.  I am experienced in both of these areas.  I decided to start with a Travel Agent course and figured that would help me to get work.  That turned out to be a wash too.  After that I stumbled onto a site that listed a bunch of different places to apply that hired people with my skill set to work from home online.  I started applying to everything that I could find….hoping.  I finally got an email.  To make a long story short I’m pretty sure I got hooked into a fraud scheme.  I’m currently hoping that it turns out ok.

I now have a Mystery Shopper job that doesn’t pay much (we’re talking pennies) but, at least it’s a free meal with a nice drive and a little paperwork.

Then….one fateful afternoon….I saw The Girl in the Jeep and that breath that I’d been holding in for five long years let loose a flood of ideas and arguments and rationalizations that led me to believing that Drayce and I could actually pull off living in Ravvy and that we could do it (fairly comfortably) on the pittance of an income that I currently have.

That decision/realization happened on May 1st.  It is now the early hours of May 3rd (oh, I should be in bed) and my journey has begun….but, where do I start?   ….and is it the right choice?

Join me while I figure out the answers to this and many more questions that I have and more that I haven’t thought of.

This has after all been one of the few constant things in my life for the last few years.  I also get this amazing bubble of excitement when I think of the day that I finally get to walk away from everything that is holding me to one spot.

……so……

LET THE ADVENTURES BEGIN!!!